How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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