Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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