babies were throwing up all over the place
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
