I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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