have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
