I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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