So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
