I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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