Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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