Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
