one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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