So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
