So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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