it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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