Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
he high fived his dick after we had sex
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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