Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
