I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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