Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
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