You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Randomize
