Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Buhtt sex?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
