i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
