opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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