SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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