My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
