I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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