she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
