so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
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