They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize