i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
