I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
