I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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