I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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