I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
