alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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