is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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