You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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