For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
The Olympian is in my bed
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
