she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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