2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
