my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
