If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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