the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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