return my video game
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
