Pappa wants mamma naked
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
