the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
