Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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