Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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