i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I have tasted many bathrooms
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
