I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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