And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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