R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Be still, my beating vagina.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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