i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
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Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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Sorry I peed on your ottoman
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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