dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
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I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
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I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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