she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
