sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
