paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
