So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
