I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize