WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
