i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
