I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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