everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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